Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I will praise You with the morning light

I still feel like I have no words. It is 10am in Haiti. Last night was long. We kept all the babies outside in the driveway. None slept much. It is winter in Haiti and although warm compared to what any of us are used to, the nights are cold. Little bodies huddled together on plastic crib mattresses. Praise the Lord the we had enough blankets. It seems that just when we ran out, a few more appeared until every little one was covered. We laid on the ground and felt it sway beneath us. Never in my life have I felt so powerless.
When the big quake hit I was on the second floor of the orphanage, in the biggest nursery. No one had any idea what was happening. Babies and nannies were falling on the ground. For a second I thought the entire house was going to tip over sideways. I couldn't believe how violently it moved! There were not enough doorways for people, everyone was screaming, it felt like it would never end. It stopped for a fraction of a second and then the 5.9 hit. At that point most of us were on the stairs running outside. By the time we got there it has stopped. The earth was still... it was eerily quiet. And then the cries. From all around we heard them echo as the realization set in that this was BAD. Rumors began from all around. The buildings that once stood tall are now gone. A friend described it as this, "in downtown Port Au Prince, the Presidential Palace, the Parliament Building, the Justice Building, the UN Headquarters and the US Embassy have all either collapsed or experienced substantial damage. That’s like the White House, the Capital Building, the Supreme Court Building, The Senate Office Building and the Smithsonian all getting wiped out in Washington DC."
Chaos, confusion, fear, all are running rampant in hearts today. We are still feeling small aftershocks. When I close my eyes everything sways. I, along with many others here feel physically sick, unimaginably heartbroken and totally helpless. I am looking at photos that have been posted of the country that I love torn to pieces. I hate myself for being so cliche, for not being able to just praise God that He saved us and trust him today, for asking why. But I can't help it. WHY!? Why a country with so much hurt. A place with so many orphans, now has more. A place that at times seems to be the very pit of hell, now worse. I hate feeling helpless, I have that I am scared when I should be brave for these babies. I hate that the people I love face more heartache. I hate that one of our nannies had a little baby at home, in the area that was hit hardest, and still has not been able to get work from there! I hate what has happened, but I love too... I love that last night as we huddled in the driveway the nannies sang Great Is Thy Faithfulness. I love that the people of the neighborhood, when scared gathered at the gate of God's Littlest Angels. I love that God is alive and working in this tragedy and that He gives his people a beacon of hope, held in a green building that is still standing this morning.
I can not yet allow myself to sit here and realize what a miracle it is that we are all here today. I can not think about what could have been. When I do, I shake as violently as the earth beneath our feet did. Instead I do what we are are doing. I hold tiny bodies close to my heart. I whisper prayers and I keep busy. It's all we can do.
If you are wondering how to help right now I want to direct you to a GLA blog that has set up a fund for relief. I'm sure there will be other ways later but for now this is what we have in place! More than anything we need you on your knees! We need prayer for this time. We rely heavily on supplies that are brought to us from Port Au Prince by trucks and obviously that will not be possible. I don't know how much we have but I know how fast we go through it. Pray for miracles in our pantry, water cisterns and diesel tanks. God is hearing. He weeps with us and he upholds us. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

What can YOU do?

1 comment:

Jessica Zibell said...

Hi Rhyan,

I saw the tail end of the interview with Dixie this morning and immediately wondered if it was your orphanage. We are thinking about you and praying for you and your babes. Be safe. Love,

Jessica and Steve