Today was perfect! I sat with babies, walked the dusty streets, chatted and joked with the beautiful nannies and as I write this, I am listening to the rain falling on the palm leaves outside my window. I am content because these are the moments I have been aching for. These are the things I crave while I am away. These are the things my dreams are made of, yes today I lived in a dream.
This evening after supper we had bible study. There are a lot of people here right now and so we met on the rooftop balcony. As we sat outside I looked out beyond our gates at the country around me. Sometimes it still takes my breath away. Tonight it did. We spent some time in praise and as we sang I watched people migrate to their balconies. They watched and listened. I witnessed one young woman, probably about 18 years old as she raised her hands and danced, singing along with us. She may not have known the words we proclaimed but she knew the message they held. Tonight, without leaving the gates we brought Jesus to the people of Haiti.
The day held ups and downs as I adjusted to the “new” normal. Nothing is the same and I am fighting it with all of my strength. I miss the way it was. There are a lot of people here and it overwhelms me. At one point this afternoon there were more volunteers than babies available. I never could have imagined that. Several times today I was reduced to tears over the longing of what used to be. I have cried for Patrick…a lot. Each time I walked into the nursery it hit me again. Some of the nannies know how I am feeling. They joke with me about finding a new “Ti Raje” we all laugh and discuss who it could be but they also understand my pain and underneath the jokes and laughter there is a somberness. When I shed my tears they let me. A few cried with me. They miss it too, I can only imagine how much they miss it!
I spent a lot of time in the nurseries today. There are a lot of new faces and names to learn, there are personalities to discover and stories to hear. I am anxious to love them. I am anxious to find the baby that will creep his way into my heart, there is always one that is that “favorite” and I can’t wait to know him. This afternoon I spent some special time with a tiny little guy, I have a feeling he might be it ;) I can’t wait to introduce him to all of you…tomorrow!