There have been a lot in my life lately.
Last week I sat down with Amy (yes that is a totally NEW, “Haiti” site!) and we settled plans that God has been growing for years. In early November I will return to Haiti, I will reunite with the pieces of my heart that have been missing and I will begin the work I was created to do, forever.
The plan is for me to take this assignment in 3 month sessions. I will be in Haiti for 3 months and in the states for 3-4 weeks at a time. At the end of each 3 month session I will have the choice to go back for another 3 months or stay in the states. After spending just 10 days in Leogane there is no option in my heart to walk away, I can only imagine how much stronger that pull will be after making it my home. God has been molding and training me for this purpose long before I ever knew of a place called Haiti. Long before I first breathed the air of this island He prepared my body to crave it. Before any of these babies were born my arms were meant to hold them. Now He begins the task of brining His work to life. In doing so He brings me not only a sense of purpose, but a joy that is beyond description.
In just a few short weeks I will be there for good! As I let my mind roll over the idea my body began to fail. Over the weekend, while on a family camping trip I began to feel sick. By Sunday I was barely able to leave my tent. Today (Tuesday) I am still feeling awful. An earache, sore throat and iffy stomach have left me in bed for more hours that I would like… I was feeling restless. Then I received a message that made my stomach do another kind of flip. The children at FDPD are sick with fevers. 5 of them have been sent to the doctor for evaluation. Suddenly I wasn’t as tired as I had been, I had the energy to get out of bed and to try to do something. Suddenly the aches in my joints were replaced by a greater aching in my heart, to be with them now. They need me but I need them more. In that moment the person that was Rhyan Buettner faded into the lives of each and every one of the precious little ones that have captured my heart. In those seconds I loved them more than anything in this life.
For now all I can do is count the days until the biggest change of all.
Sometimes I go back in my blog and read posts from a long time ago. Sometimes I start at the beginning, sometimes before the earthquake. I love knowing that someday I will go to this post, the one where everything changed, and re-live this beautiful life.