Saturday, October 23, 2010

Someone Is Waiting…Part 2

I spent 10 minutes on Thursday holding a screaming 3 year old little girl in my arms. Mina has been with us for a little over a month now and her little heart is so broken, she expresses herself in the only way she knows, in awful fits.

Today’s meltdown was over food. Everyone was sharing something and Mina did not want to share, she threw herself onto the floor and began to kick and scream, she was 100% in fit mode. My first instinct was to pick her up and put her on the rug is my room that is reserved as a time out area. I told Mina that she was being “deziod” or naughty and that she needed to stay on the rug. This set her hysterics over the edge. She began screaming for her Mama and Papa. When I head her screams something inside of me broke.

I have never in my life been accused of being soft. I believe in discipline. I laughed at the idea of hugging and kissing a child who had misbehaved, “they don’t need to be rewarded for their behavior, they need to be taught to act appropriately, they need to be punished for not doing so!” That was until I heard the brokenness in the cries of a 3 year old orphan.

Mina didn’t need time to sit on a rug and think about her actions, she needed someone to hold her, rock her and tell her that she is loved. She needed kisses and soft words. She needed to be assured that no matter what, she was loved and cherished. That I was not going to send her away when she did something wrong. She needed to feel secure, she was begging for some assurance.

And so I did something I never could have imagined myself doing, I picked up Mina, kicking and screaming and began to rock her back and forth, I whispered over and over in her ear that it was ok, that we loved her, that I am sorry. I kissed her sweat covered face I let her cry. It only took a few minuets for Mina to calm down. The crying stopped and she sank back, exhausted into my arms. I spent some time just holding her and thinking about what her life must have been like, and what it could be is someone would just give her a chance. If there was someone out there who would just step up to something that has the potential to be really difficult but that holds the potential to give the greatest reward that they could even imagine.

There are children here who are broken. Not all of them will come into a home and immediately be perfect additions. They need to be taught what real love means. They need to be shown a new idea of family and forever. For some it will come easily and for some it will not. Some of these children will require intense therapy to learn how to bond and connect. They will require hard work but each and every one of them is worth a thousand times what the effort put into them will be. I cringe at the idea of someone shying away because they are too damaged, too old or too much of a risk. These are lives and futures that are begging for a chance. Begging for someone to believe in them. I know each and every one of them by heart. I know their fears and hurts and I know their joys and potential believe me when I tell you they are worth every bit the work they will require! Maybe one of the little ones that I am holding is waiting for you. Maybe there is one here who needs you to say yes, to decided that they are worth your time, energy and love.

P1030122 Kids at Church October 2010 (2) P1020864 DSCN0107

Someone is sitting in an orphanage right now. Someone will fall asleep tonight alone on a cot. Someone is waiting, for you to give them a chance. To learn more about the requirements to adopt one of our children please visit God’s Children In Haiti.


Mama D.'s Dozen said...

I have a little 9 year old ... she's been home for 2.5 years now ... she still has rages like this.

I hold her. I pray for her. I tell her that I will love her no matter how hard she fights that love.

No. It is not always easy. Loving a child who has no idea how to bond or attach is one of the most difficult parenting tasks I have ever done. (And, as the mother of 12 children, I've had a LOT of difficult tasks over the past 26 years.)

Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Have I ever regretted adopting this little Ghanaian beauty? Absolutely not!

The LORD has called us to take care of the orphans of this world. We MUST answer that call. We MUST bring the orphans home. We MUST give them new mommies and daddies.

Be BLESSED for the work you are doing!

Laurel :)

Abby said...

Great post! It is so tempting at times to want to put our lil guy in time out when he is fitting but we also believe in time in....holding tight, whispering love, and letting him know mommy and daddy are in charge and we are in this together! It takes patience but it's what these little ones need!!! Good job Rhyan!

mamamargie said...

The mission field has never been EASY. The call to care for the orphan and the widow is not a call to comfort and ease. I have always liked what Mother Theresa said about how we should "love until it hurts."

We have five adopted kids. None have been easy from the beginning, but they have grown and learned and CHANGED! We are getting ready to adopt again. We don't know from where or how, but we are in much prayer about it. We are also, as much as possible, encouraging others to adopt.

God bless you! Keep up the good work!

Happymom4 aka Hope Anne said...

Read "The Connected Child" by Purvis, and you will know you handled this correctly. Also "Building the Bonds of Attachment" by Daniel Hughes. Both of these books totally changed so much of my thinking about parenting when we adopted a child who had spent the first 5 and a half years of their life in an orphanage. After 5 years with us, she's a totally different child. "Fits" in a broken and wounded child need to be treated as the cry of pain that they are.