Saturday, November 13, 2010

Note To Self… Remember This

Tonight I was sitting at my computer “working” sorting and naming photos and updating files. There is a small whiteboard on the outside of my door where I hang either a green or red circle. The kids all know that green means they are allowed to come in, red means they may not open the door. The sign this evening was green.

One by one little boys and girls began to fill my room. They came in groups of one or two until the entire carpeted area was full. I looked up from my computer to see these faces looking back at me.

P1040101 P1040114 P1040110 P1040109 P1040104

At that exact second my heart skipped a beat. Again, like a few times before in my life I was totally in awe of a moment. In this almost simple, daily occurrence I was jolted into the realization that I am so incredibly blessed. I cannot believe that this is my life. How could it be that I am allowed this privilege? Yes, the responsibility I feel each day is huge but the evenings like this, spent just soaking in their faces, learning their hears and holding them close, is the only way I will ever be able to live. They are what makes every single day the happiest of my life.

P1040098 

I hope I always remember just how I feel right now. I don’t cry often but I bit back tears as I read their bedtime story tonight. For each hurt that I get to kiss, nose that I get to wipe and drawing that I get to praise I am living the very passion that envelopes my heart. Today was the kind of day I picture when I think of what could make me happiest. There were challenges to be faced, as always. Children are sick, the house will never be as organized and I would like it to be but  in the adding up of the hours, there was more joy than pain, more laughter than tears and a moment that brought me to my knees in gratitude for the blessing that it all brings.

P1040086

1 comment:

Emily Suzanne said...

This is beautiful! I so enjoy reading your blog! Please keep it up, even though I know it's probably hard to write all that is going on in your life. Every precious face I see gets deep inside me and I pray one day, these children will all find homes. I pray I can do something more.
Beautiful ones...I'm incredibly blessed to even catch a glimpse of their faces.
THANK YOU.