Today is World AIDS Day.
To many people this means nothing. To some, it means the world.
My heart has been broken by this disease. I have seen it rip apart lives and ruin dreams. I have held babies with bodies ravaged by this awful sickness. I have seen that AIDS holds no concern over age or innocence.
I wish all of you could really, truly see and understand the things that happen in Haiti. The judgments that are passed on this country break my heart. If you only knew the person behind the woman who has 3 children in an orphanage and one on the way, perhaps the world would be slower to judge. If you could look into her eyes and hear her tell you about the things she is forced to do for the man who provides her only support, maybe you would feel a bit more compassion and love.
Then again, I am thankful that not everyone does understand. I am thankful that there is an escape from this sometimes endless, pain.
Today is one of those “2 step back” days. Today I am reminded how much need there is and how little I can do. Most of the time I hold back the tears, most of the time I push it all out of my mind. A part of me is scared that once I start crying I may never stop. Here I am, admits endless opportunities and yet for everyone I help there are a thousand whom I can’t.
There is no answer to this despair, just the acceptance that it is what it is. Acceptance balanced with urgency to do something, even though I cannot do everything.
December 1st is not a date to me, it is a face…
Today on World AIDS Day a baby who I love will have a blood test that will detect if he is HIV+. Waiting for the results is dreadful. I pray that on this day, as I think about the ones who are infected, I will soon celebrate one who is not.