Every once in a while, one comes along that is different than the others.
One who wrecks me and reminds me how far from acceptable this normal life of mine is.
And I am lucky, when one comes and my life is changed again, in an unimaginable, and miles away from easy way. I am blessed as my heart and passion are recaptured for this place.
Last week it happened again, through him.
20 months old. Just over 12 pounds. Eyes full of stories, pain, history and life.
When I removed his shirt to bathe him for the first time, he bit me! He’s a fighter, he has to be to have made it this long.
While he sat naked and my eyes traveled his broken and weary body I saw something that I had never seen before... Along his back there they were, honest to goodness piercing bones. With no fat to cushion as he lie on a mattress, for who knows how long, his tiny vertebrae had rubbed raw though his fragile skin.
“Lord, break my heart, save me from my selfish desires, from my human self. Lord, show me how desperately this world needs you, how desperately I need you!”
And He did. Through this little boy. Who, because he was born into a sinful world, has suffered more than you or I could ever imagine. His physical pain is outrageous. His emotional trauma is heartbreaking. His future, one week ago, was hopeless.
But today, it isn’t so. Today he is 1 pound heavier than he was when he arrived. Today his belly is full and his bed is clean. Today, while he snuggled in my arms I whispered in his ear promises, not just of my earthly love but the story of a love beyond all others. A love story of a Savior who knows his name, a Father who saw his face, loved him with a daddy love, and who died to rescue him.
One day soon he will smile, and then he will laugh and he will be well. He will run and play like he should and I will step back and smile. I will remember how far he has come and in the same breath, I pray I will remember the depths from which that very same Daddy has rescued me.